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March 19, 2013

Guest Post: Leslie @ A Body That Won't Break

{ My name is Leslie, and I blog over at A Body That Won't Break. I blog about weight loss, finding myself, writing, Jesus, and living a life of joy. I am so grateful to Meg to have the chance to guest post and wish her lots of love while she is on her honeymoon. I am also wishing her a marriage beyond any expectations. }

In a mere months, I will celebrate 5 years of marriage to my husband. Anyone who has been married for longer than a few hours knows that marriage is anything but easy. In fact, it's probably the hardest but most rewarding thing. Kind of like blogging (which I've been doing for 3 years). From the outside, it seems easy, but spend any amount of time at a computer and you realize just how tough it can be to share your life.
I never planned on getting married. I planned out my wedding - several of them in fact. I wanted to make sure I knew what my wedding would be like for every single season. But I never really thought I would get married. Unless Justin Timberlake proposed. I would say yes to him.

 photo us_2007_zps0a7ba2c3.jpgGod had other plans for me. And during my second senior year of college, I was set up on a blind date with my husband. We both did everything we could to cancel the date. And then we both hurried through the night at Barnes and Noble and dessert at On the Border. When I woke up the next morning, I knew.

Life happens like that sometimes. And sometimes it doesn't.

I'm learning to embrace the times when things don't progress quickly (ahem, blogging. I'm leaning into the process and trusting in timing. I'm forcing myself to be still and to be patient. It's all been quite the journey as I tend to be a tornado of to-do lists, people to serve, money to make and plans.

My husband.. the same one I didn't even really want to meet.. is the calm to my storm. He's often the voice of reason, the one talking me down off a ledge, the one reminding me of the good. But every now and then, we switch roles.

Our roles compliment one another. If I am the voice of reason, it is because he is the tornado. And when he is flustered or worried, I tend to be the one talking him off a ledge and reminding him of the good.

Even though I never planned on getting married, I had expectations of what marriage would be like. (Spoiler: marriage isn't what I expected.) It's the same for blogging.

When I started blogging in 2010, after years of inhabiting different corners of the Internet, I did so with every intention of writing beautiful prose. I had never planned on being a "blogger", but I still had expectations of what it would be like. I was going to be different and not follow the rules of what makes a successful blog. Instead, I would stand out and people would flock to me for it.

That didn't happen. In fact, people still aren't flocking to me. But I'm glad it didn't happen. I'm thankful that my first few years of blogging flopped. Because it's only been recently that I've figured out who I am as a person and as a blogger.

Around the time I started feeling more comfortable with my blog, I also started feeling more comfortable in my marriage. We hit a groove. We're still hitting a groove. And while it's not easy, we're still in it together - fighting for one another daily and asking for forgiveness daily.

Also? I let go of the expectations and began to just enjoy myself, my life and my marriage. I also stopped wanting to be the "next someone" and instead began to embrace being me.

 photo photo-2_zps27ceaed9.jpgFor me, the comfort just sort of happened. Both with my marriage and in my blog. I did a lot of work to lead up to the level of comfort I have now (like the letting go), but it still just had to happen.

If you are starting out a new journey, let it happen. Do the work and trust in the process. Stick it out when it feels awkward or when you have nothing to say. Do whatever you have to do not to run away. Because it will happen.

And when it does happen? When you let go of your expectations. Reality, while different, is so much better than what you think it (whatever your it is) will be. And almost everything leading up to that point (the arguments, the frustrations, the late nights) will be worth it.

I don't have any real expectations now. Just hopes and dreams. And a few questions. But no expectations.

Now, instead of planning for everything, I just want to live. I want to find joy in the everyday and share it. I want to embrace all the curveballs life throws and figure out how to weather the twists and turns. I want to be able to look back and think I never could have expected this.

- Leslie

1 comment:

  1. I knew I would enjoy reading this after I saw that you were about to reach 5 yrs of marriage. I just started consistently blogging this past summer so I can def relate to much of what you're saying. I, too write on the complex journey of marriage, weightloss, healthy eating and JESUS my biggest love. Oh and my 3 children. Thank you for sharing, for I have found another blog to read :)


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